– Last November, I came before this lovely, high-quality whiteboard and declared to all of you that I knew exactly who was going to live or die on the final season of Game of Thrones Based on little more than my now failed hopes and dreams

(audience booing) So now we are back here to give a proper good, firm update and give me a nice, nice dose of shame So let's begin! – [Crew Member] Shame! (Beth laughing) (light energetic music) Wa-wa! – They really look alike Right, so now we have the finished final updated board and, yeah, I made a few boo-boos (bell tollng) The biggest one being Daenerys, dead Although I should've seen that coming because she murders people


– Dracarys (fire roaring) (men screaming) – But the one I was surprised about was Lady Mormont and I'm still pissed off about that because she was a goddamn treasure! Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, on the Iron Throne, in my fanfiction, you can check it out but I'm not giving you the URL because, um, there are some other things – [Hodor] Hodor! – Overall, although there were a couple surprises, I gotta say a lotta people lived Like, you got the ones I thought were gonna die (bell tolling) You've got Yara, got your Tormund I thought was dead, Brienne I thought was dead, Bronn I thought was dead

Yohn frickin' Royce Why is this guy alive? This dude gets to live and serve on that super council? No! – [Crew Member] Boo! – And then we've got a couple down here in the I'm just gonna name it the As Far As We Know category, 'cause we never found out what happened to them

We've got Daario, Jaqen, Mira, this dude Hot Pie's pastries! – [Crew Member] You're in front of Hot Pie – Never got an answer! And then at the same time, we've also got Ellaria Sand She's sitting down underneath King's Landing, presumably suffering for all eternity until she starves to death and no one bothered to check if she was down in the dungeon We got to hear all about that stupid Edmure Tully dude, and no, I didn't print his picture because I forgot he existed, so, you know, he's better off just not existing anymore

(bell tolling) Okay, my favorite death, well, I've got two answers Most satisfying was this lady right here, Melisandre because she finally did exactly what she wanted to do and she stood up for the right thing, she fought hard and she died hard, and that was pretty rockin' But the (laughing) that made me super-happy was this bloke right here – [Crew Member] Yeah, me too (body thudding) (Qyburn groaning) He's just like, I cannot be bothered with you right now, I've got things to do, I've got some catching up, some good (laughing) old family bonding time, which means we're gonna bond to each other in liquid form as we go other the cliff into the fiery abyss

♪ Love ♪ ♪ Love lost long ago ♪ It's very, very romantic That's weird Uh, maybe in some fanfiction, I'm not goin' there! – [The Hound] Hello, big brother – I'm really happy that Arya did end up surviving even though I actually thought she was going to die along with Tyrion ♪ Samwell's baby ♪ (baby cooing) Guys, he made it! It was the first one who I insisted was gonna survive and he did and his mom did too and she's carrying another baby and Samwell lived! It's almost a fairytale ending! Theon was the hero, the man of the hour, although, you know, if he had just bowed out and gone to take smoke break, we wouldn't have had to deal with this

(audience booing) This is where I'm most angry Bran, the new King of Westeros, who I could've sworn was going to die and become some weird immortal tree god, but no, he instead gets to rule literally all of this and it's a bad idea because these idiots here do not know what they signed up for 'cause he's basically a one-man police state who can watch with birds, spy on everybody, possess anybody, and knows everything in the whole universe, so, good goin', guys! – I'm king – But now we gotta find out what the actual final numbers were (bell tolling) – 20 for sure lived, and six, maybe, as far as we know – Five is we decide she, you know, if not dead now then soon

And what about died? 'Cause I originally had a lot of people (bell tolling) – 18, if you count the dragon and the throne, but then if you count all of the White Walkers– – And all of the people in King's Landing You know what? This ended up being like 42 million, so, you know, it's good – [Crew Member] True, and yet still I feel like too many people lived – Yeah, that's exactly my takeaway

This side is way more filled with people than this one and I really expected this to be a frickin' bloodbath! But, there is one that surprised all of us and that right there was Robin Arryn – Aye – Everybody cares You know, as Tormund would like to say, once you go breast milk, you get hot eventually (liquid splashing) (marker thudding) (peaceful music)